Book Chap Love: Does it truly matter? Is your love consistent? Is it conditional based on how you feel at the time and what you do for me or don’t do for me. What have you done for me lately? These are some of the questions that subconsciously could be running through your mind at any given moment. Be it consciously or subconsciously your body language along with your love language could be playing out a scenario that will ultimately damage your relationship because now you are keeping a scorecard on what you do for me versus what you don’t do for me.
When you find your self On this realm you take the we as one out of the relationship and put into play the you, or the me, this emphasizes the individual instead of unity of us. The togetherness the bond that says what God has put together let no man tear apart. We become susceptible to outside influences with their contrasting opinion the so called friends in your ear.
The girlfriends who has never been married who has not had a healthy relationship in their life and with a high probability that they will be single the rest of their life.
The epitome of bitterness and hate-a ration secretly or blatantly. The fellas has their version of these kind of certain individuals who are a wolf in sheep clothing come bearing fruits of discord. They are the ones on standby who you share your complaints about your woman who stay on alert to swoops in to steal your love one because you played yourself now you are the fool assed out. Again my wording is meant to trigger a heart felt response, because that is what you will be in no uncertain terms. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we might just be in a situation where some tough decision need to be made, but we must allow spiritual guidance to influence these matters of the heart.
When we find ourselves seeking to establish or negotiating allowances to Justify our actions, then turn around and have zero tolerance for our partner how is that suppose to work? Short memories on relating to the moment when You did not satisfy my expectation, and when the situation is in reverse it becomes like the movie “Ground Hog Day” over and over again. Unfortunately when the scales of relationship justice becomes unbalanced and we lose sight of our spiritual identity and along with our marital vows or relationship commitment we become corrupt vessels void of light and the salt that God has intended us to be. The Holy Spirit refuses to dwell in such a place spiritual disarray now the question is “What do you value”?
Again, what do you value? How much emphasis do you place on valuing your marriage and what God has intended for Holy Matrimony. We have allowed Love and personal sacrifice to be factored out of the equation of what God intended to be a Holy Sacred event in our life to become apart of contemporary lifestyle view of instant gratification.
The willingness to commit to the effort that is necessary to ensure a healthy viable marriage / relationship fall s into the same categories as instant rice. We want our pleasures now and if we can’t then throw it out. I consider this the microwave lifestyle that society has embraced. No more boiling the rice just slap it in the microwave and wa-la. Once upon a time people cared enough for each other to want to get things right for themselves and their spouse and children now its all about me regardless if kids are involved. We can’t seem to delve deep enough inside ourselves due to the bombardment of the negative images of selfishness that the media feeds us a full diet of everyday. Some of us has a robust diet for this type of material and even when we had enough we find some way to regurgitate it up and to start the process all over. Society has become hooked on drama.
In a marriage or a relationship we should focus on Valuing a person strength and minimizing their weakness. Unfortunately we have become a society that embellish the idiosyncrasies of a need to exert our false sense of superiority over another individual in order to make us feel better about ourself. Why can’t We appreciate helping another individual grow and develop and marvel quietly inside and admire how you made a difference in your man or woman life helping them to make new connections within themselves that will benefit the marriage / relationship. I think about the chaos that was taking place during the riots in California and the person who tragically suffered during the process who in his personal brokenness came out and made a echoing statement “Can’t we all just get along”. Why do we need the feel it has to be about us all the time.
Value: What do you value? How much of emphasis do you place on the thing, people, relationship? Valuing a person strength and minimizing the weakness
Faith: How much do you have. Does your action reflect what you say you have.
Allowances: Do you have allowances? Do your spouse have allowances for you. Are you zero tolerate?
Respect: Lack of, Cockiness with your disrespect;
Honesty: Cockiness with your lies, you feel as if you don’t have to explain anything and you do what the hell you please.
Determination: How determine are you willing to fight for your family. Cutting and running.
Unforgiveness: Renewing of my mind daily. Spending time in the word. Not wanting to hear the word. What spirit are you feeding.
Normal vs. Abnormal behavior? Why accept it when you know this is not what God intended.
Embracing the distorted behaviors as if it was normal.
Understanding who you working with God or satan.
People fight to save their marriage / relationship why aren’t you?